Monday, September 15, 2008

Jonny leaves...eleven remain...(more vague Idol musings)

So I haven't written about Idol in a while - the top 12's been formed and is now a top 11, following the elimination of deep-voiced West Australian Jonny Taylor tonight. I guess all there is to do now is to recap what I think of the remaining contestants, and what I think might pan out over the next few months or so...

Chrislyn Hamilton, then, is the seventeen year old, vaguely corpulent soul and R&B queen - the first one through to the top 12, and the first (and god forbid, let's hope it's the last) recipient of the Kyle-Sandilands-Pseudo-Bogan/Ocker-Touchdowwwwnnnn. Sure, the girl can sing, but can she sing anything other than Aretha Franklin? Clamouring Captain Obviouses everywhere shout "Yes she can...she can do Tina Turner too!" Well...you get my point. It'd be nice to see some light and shade. And I wish she wouldn't say "youse". Now that you're in the big wide world, Chrislyn, it's time for decorum and proper ways of speaking.

Note: comparisons with Chrislyn and former Idol winner Casey Donovan are completely unfounded. They're both fat and young, but the similarities end there. As hard as that is for some of you to believe, it's true.

Wes Carr was the first to perform on Sunday night and was little more than mediocre, to be perfectly frank - yet having said that, he was much better than most of the Idolers on Sunday night. Decked out with cap and Decoré hair and epileptic leg, he makes for quite a performer, although his U2 on Sunday was fairly blah compared to his rather intriguing audition. He'll improve, I'm sure, and he still has to be regarded as the favourite.

Then there's Tom Williams, and I really don't want to talk about him. No, really. I understand that arthritis is horrible but I don't understand how that and a set of accentuated dimples can get you this far in what's supposed to be a singing contest. Ah well - tweenyboppers will vote away, and one can only hope that the 1800 numbers are being blocked on mobile phones all across the country.

Thanh Bui certainly has a killer voice - but he can't seem to put it to good use. Why wouldn't you be busting out some exciting beats, Mr. Bui, instead of the sugarcoated boyband garbage you serve up each week? He's like listening to the lovechild of John Farnham and the long lost Asian member of Human Nature, and I really think he should've got the boot tonight. Oh well, you can't have it all.

Emerging fast as Wes' only real male challenger to the title, then, is Melburnian Mark Spano, who despite his Hinder/Daughtry/Nickelback-like vocals, is starting to win me over. Hell, he managed to deliver his entire performance in key last night, which is something I wish could be said for all the contestants. Add to that a bit of stage presence, some musical sensibility and some brains - even if he is a labourer - and we've got ourselves a dogfight on our hands.

This year's resident blockhead (and in this case, the moniker is literal) is Teale Jakubenko, who managed to score that coveted sixth place into the Top 12, most recently taken by 2007 resident surf bogan, Marty Simpson. I'm not exactly sure what kind of music Teale sings - all I know is that his head is shaped like a square, he has the most terrible beard, and the end of his song last night sounded like yodelling. Get him off, I say, get him off.

Now, if you thought Teale was a stupid name, try this one on for size: Madam Parker. Yes, that's right, Madam. Emily and Lavina Williams' long lost cousin - or perhaps sister - is a quiet, shy R&B single mother who brings new meaning to the term "trippy". Constantly spaced out, Madam is something of an enigma. Yet somehow, unlike most of Idol's resident divas, it turns out she understands that singing isn't all about belting out big notes - take note, Marcia. Unlike Tarisai Vushe, she can do modesty without fakeness. Somehow, I can see her going a long way.

Brooke Addamo, from Werribee (I know people from Werribee! Ha!) is blessed with the unfortunate distinction of only being able to sing ballads, but boy can she sing a ballad well. Unfortunately, after one ballad on live national TV the judges thought that was enough, and Brooke was lucky in the end to scrape through the first live Final 12 show with a creditable, yet poorly received performance of a non-ballad song. Hopefully she'll hold out and mature, because she's got a sweet voice and a nice face - which can't be said for a few of the others, to be quite frank. *coughcoughtomwilliamscoughcough*.

First of the wildcards through was Roshani Priddis, who I was particularly impressed with at the auditions but since then has muddled her way through a series of pitchy and uninspiring performances. Well, she got her mojo back on Sunday, tramping through Joss Stone like it was grade one maths. Who her fans will be, I'm not sure, but her sunny personality has to win people over soon. Surely.

Grrr...grrr...grrr - no, it's not your dog, it's actually Luke Dickens, another one of this year's one trick ponies. No matter how hard I try, I can't get past the fact that Luke can only do one thing - and that's grate and groan and growl and sing Joe Cocker somewhat ordinarily. I cannot understand how he is going to do disco, or Big Band, or - god forbid - sing one of those dreadfully honeyed "Winner's Singles" - but Aussies are suckers for a man who says "Yeh life's garn oright" and has a shocking beard. **coughcoughshannonnollcoughcough**. He's still getting through though, inexplicably to me, despite his voice sounding like he's imbibed a cheese grater.

Jonny Taylor from Perth looks like one of those guys you'd see at the Socialist Alternative club meeting at uni; an unshaven, scruffy thing, he doesn't look like he's washed in a week, and the red streaks and baggy pants only add to the "outsider" appearance. His deep dulcet tones never wooed me and, apparently, the Australian public weren't overly impressed either, as he's the first eliminated. Idol forumers are claiming a voting scandal, but really, when it all boils down, he didn't have that much talent to begin with. **coughcoughnicolebankswasrobbedcoughcough**.

And finally...Sophie Paterson. Now, after the Top 24 was announced, I arrived at the decision that Sophie was my favourite remaining contestant. That tousled blonde hair, the introspective, soulful voice - she'd won me over big time. After nailing her semi-final performance, I awaited, quietly confident, only for her to be turned down. Luckily, she snared a wildcard, only to deliver her song in what was possibly the Star-Trek dialect Kling-on. Nevertheless, Australia, an "accepting" country, voted her through to the Top 12, where diction problems continued - debate rages on whether she was singing the Counting Crows last night in Swahili or Icelandic. On a serious note, I do wish she'd get her enunciation right, because I've listened to her originals and they are truly outstanding. Sophie, get your shit together, and make things work, because you of all people are someone who could emerge as truly stellar from this top 12.

And so that's it. Wes should win; Chrislyn, Madam and Roshani will eventually out-diva each other; Mark is the dark horse; Tom, Teale and Thanh (the three Ts) are a collective waste of space; Luke needs to learn that growling's not the new black; Brooke'll do well when she goes back to ballads; and Sophie will win you all over, I guarantee it, when she starts singing in English again.

Write your opinions pur-lease.

karma kids. :)

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Australian Idol: Top 24, round 1...

Just a few lazy comments on the first round of semi-finals, shown on TV live last night, viewed by me at about 1 am this morning on the Australian Idol website...

Clearly the standout again was Wes Carr, who delivered a sold enough performance of "Times Like These" that should easily see him through to the Top 12 and maintaining his status as competition favourite.

Picking a next best is somewhat tougher. Likeliest to go through is "big girl" Chrislyn Hamilton, but I'm not so sure if she was actually all that good last night. Sure, she has a great energy about her and she can hit some big notes, but that song (which has become almost a cliché on Idol now) has been performed better by our own Idol alumnus and current co-host Ricki-Lee Coulter, and on American Idol, most memorably by the controversial Trenyce, but also in an audition by Season 3 winner Fantasia. To me it seemed like Chrislyn was holding back - and I get the feeling that I like the other "big girl" of Idol this year, Natalie Colavito, slightly more. Anyhow, she was still good, and, as I said, the likeliest other than Wes to progress.

Nicole Banks
, the vivacious Melbourne redhead, and Olly Corpe, the competition's token Frenchboy, are then probably the two kids who will receive a call back to the wildcard show. The jury is still out for me on Nicole - she's bubbly and bright and with personality - I wish the same could be said for some of the other contestants - but her performance of "Black and Gold" last night was anything but convincing. Olly, on the other hand, started similarly flat during his rendition of "Wonderful World" but gathered momentum when the big notes came. It will be interesting to see if Olly, who surely as a French guy has more tween sex appeal than the ubiquitous Tom Williams, will get through on viewer vote as a result of the young female's passion for text messaging.

That leaves Jaden Dowd and Mitchell Steele. Jaden has been dissed to death on the Idol forums for her hideous outfit - and really, it was a shocker - but I don't think her vocal performance was all that bad - it was certainly better than Nicole's in some parts. Who would vote for her, however, is a question I really can't answer. As for Mitchell, I really am tiring fast of his cowboy dweeb and his performance was flat and dull. He's the only one I can see definitely not making it through.

I realise that the judges' comments often sway viewer perception and having not heard these, I can't say for certain what the outcome will be tonight - then again, you never really can with Idol. But if I had to bet on it, Wes will make it through followed by Chrislyn or Olly - with Nicole and the loser of those two getting a wildcard, and Jaden unlucky to miss out.

Finally, just to prove that it's been done better, here's Trenyce with Proud Mary in perhaps its best Idol manifestation.



peace :)

Friday, August 29, 2008

The Idol "Hall of Fame" - Ten Great Performances.

Before you read this, a warning. These performances are not ranked, and I am sure uproar will ensue as to the inclusion or exclusion of certain performances - I haven't put Anthony Callea in, I just noticed. I know everyone won't like this list, but Idol is subjective, and when I hit Youtube to look up old Idol classics, these are a few of the ones I turn to most. Here are ten performances in no particular order - complete with corresponding videos - to keep that Idol fix at bay for a while.


1. Guy Sebastian - Climb Every Mountain
Idol's original king now has four albums in the bag; he almost blew the competition out of the water early on with his version of When Doves Cry, and then hit the pinnacle with - strangely - a number from Rodgers and Hammerstein. Holden went Touchdown and there was no way anyone was beating the man with the 'fro. The vid is worth watching solely to see Mark Holden's outfit, Marcia Hines' crazy whooping, and Dicko's ghastly hair.



2. Natalie Gauci - Man In The Mirror
Yeah, she's disappeared back into relative obscurity, but this performance, arguably, was the one that put her into the Idol-lover's consciousness. A slow, yet gloriously soulful portrayal of Jacko's smash, this was the first of Natalie's piano "interpretations", which included Rihanna's "Umbrella" and standing on the instrument itself for the Divinyls' "Boys In Town". Brilliant.



3. Chanel Cole - When I Get Low, I Get High
Chanel Cole is possibly my favourite contestant on Australian Idol, ever. Period. Why she was never offered any kind of record deal beyond her collaboration with fellow Idoler and sometime boyfriend Daniel Belle (Spook: The Dusk Sessions) is beyond me. Word is she's now working in Canberra as a receptionist. Ah, how sad. Nevertheless, I still rate this as probably the greatest Idol audition the Australian competition has ever seen: a divine voice with just the right amount of whimsy. Perfect.



4. Jessica Mauboy - Beautiful
The previous week she was labelled a Jelly Belly by the porkiest member of the judging panel, Kyle Sandilands, following a scorching performance of Kelly Clarkson's "Walk Away". So what did she do? Sang Christina Aguileira, dang. It may have been cliched and almost too corny, but that was all forgotten when she hit some absolutely spine-chilling notes as the song reached its climax. A truly deserved touchdown.



5. Damien Leith - Crying
Dee-diddly-dee-potatoes! Damien Leith, who won Idol without Australian citizenship, melted the hearts of many a female with his swooning falsetto throughout season 4, despite his terrible teeth. "Crying" showcased Damien at his best - a soaring vocal, heartfelt performance and the first of two touchdowns in one evening, something never seen before, or since, on the show. Apparently even Roy Orbison's family were calling for a recording of the performance afterwards.



6. Bobby Flynn - The Boy Had Trouble
Known best perhaps for his eerie resemblance to Sideshow Bob, strange Bobby wooed the judges with this sensational acoustic performance of his original song. Marcia's jarring comment that it "was the best song I've ever heard" seems somewhat farfetched, but it's an undeniably understated, pretty melody backed by an almost flawless vocal here. Somehow, Bobby managed a touchdown on the Disco Week show; but was hit, as Ben McKenzie would be the following year, by the "Ricki-Lee 7th Place Curse". Ahh, such is life.



7. Paulini Curuenavuli (please tell me I spelt that correctly) - Freeway of Love
Paulini's a bit of a sad story as far as Idol's concerned. Undoubtedly the best vocalist in Season 1, but without the charisma of Guy, the ocker appeal of Shannon and the...the...something of Cosima, she finished fourth. After a successful first album and a devastatingly unsuccessful second, she joined the Young Divas. Big mistake. Now she's in limbo-land, having reportedly left the group. Despite its cheesiness, and Paulini's hideous costume, this was a stunning vocal performance, rightly rewarded with Holden's early version of the touchdown.



8. Emily Williams - I'm Every Woman
Season Three, as all Idol fans will tell you, was the worst of the lot. A genuine lack of ostensible talent; Kyle Sandilands' terrible hair - oh, woe betide me. Runner-up Emily Williams provided a few bright spots, however; whether you like vocal gymnastics or not, this was a powerhouse version of a big, big song. Unfortunately, the performance is unavailable on Youtube: hit www.australianidol.com.au/video.html instead to have a look. And do. It's worth it.

9. Casey Donovan - Beautiful
I still maintain that Casey Donovan is a great musician. I still do. No matter how much hate is dished out towards Idol's most corpulent victor, you only need to watch the video below to understand how much talent Casey Donovan possessed. Sadly, too much KFC and smoking lost Casey a record deal, but this performance, along with "Special Ones" and "Here's Where I Stand", rank among the all time greats of Australian Idol. I hope that wherever she is she's losing weight and making music, because she's got skills. Like, serious vocal skillzzz.



10. Matt Corby - The Blower's Daughter
Ahh, Matt Corby. The campest sixteen year old churchgoer in Australia. Unfortunately, Matt's constantly hideous wardrobe selections often masked his undeniable musical talent - he really was something of a prodigy. On Acoustic night he stripped himself back and wore a simple "flanno", and it worked. No Touchdown for Corby on this night, but he won a place in the hearts of more than just the screaming tweenyboppers. Fantastic stuff.



Australian Idol....yeah, lame, I know...

Howdy hey hey hey!

What a hectic year I've had so far; it's gone so terribly fast. I am now officially an adult; I now know there's no such thing as a school night; and university, and college particularly, has opened me up to so many amazing people and places.

But amongst all this, I've still managed to find some time this year to have a squiz at Australian Idol.

Yes, Australian Idol. That musical institution known for blandness and mediocrity; heavily criticized by "real musicians", and perhaps with good reason. No Idol anywhere in the world, other than Kelly Clarkson and Leona Lewis (who is actually an alumnus of British spin-off "The X-Factor") have achieved what you could call genuine worldwide success. I'll admit to having more than a soft spot for last year's winner, Natalie Gauci; but as yet, she's not released any kind of follow up album, almost a year after her victory.

Nevertheless, it's Australian Idol. It is trashy, bogan, mind-numbing, glorious television. And hasn't it produced some fabulous moments.

At college I am currently sans regular access to the TV - and certainly if I did want to go down and watch the box, there's no way I would make it out of the room alive if I announced I wanted to watch Australian Idol. Thankfully, most of the show is posted on the website, and in between readings on global diaspora and the French Revolution, I've been catching up on this year's crop of auditionees. Surprisingly, there actually appear to be some talented musicians out there who are still convinced that the Idol franchise is an avenue to musical success.

From the auditions I've seen, here are three guys and three girls that have stood out to me as favourites so far. Bear in mind that the early auditionees are not always the best. Last year, my favourite audition was Brianna Carpenter's. Enough said.

Boys:

Wes Carr (Sydney): Wore a hat, which I find nauseatingly bogan, and was hidden under a mound of shaggy head and facial hair; but surprisingly, this guy "who's been gigging around forever" sounded good. Busted out the Jimi H to devastating effect (he even made Marcia Hines say "Jimm-ehhh!", which TOTES made my day), and Dicko graced him with a hug. The favourite to win already.

Mark Spano (Melbourne): Another one of those "gigging around forever" guys. Has had problems with his vocal chords and such but now he's ready to rock. His style's not what I'd go for; he sounds like he could potentially front one of those bland bands like Hinder or Nickelback, but I did like the song he sang. Another unbackable favourite for top 12-hood.

Tom Williams (Adelaide): I wasn't going to mention this guy, but he's all the rage already so I thought a comment was needed. Just to set the record straight for all those hyperventilating fifteen year old girls, he's not anywhere near as good as Matt Corby, who he's already receiving slightly too-favourable comparisons to. He looks like he's about eleven years old, and I'm undecided as to whether that will work for or against him. Nevertheless, he admittedly did show that he could carry a tune rather well; but all is set for a photoshoot at Dolly and a run on next year's season of Neighbours if his musical career doesn't work out.

Other guys that were reasonable enough were Vietnamese-Australian Thanh Bui, a former boy-bander who I'm sure could sing Celine Dion with his eyes closed; Matthew Parsons, who had possibly the worst hair ever seen, but sung the Goo Goo Dolls and Michael Buble and could play the didgeridoo (now that's versatility); and David Crump, a guy who won a cruise-ship karaoke contest and then decided to audition for Idol, and, surprisingly, actually had a half-decent voice.

Girls:

Bianca Long (Perth): She apparently suffers from bipolar, but seemed like the blandest, most nondescript girl I've ever seen. That was until she started singing, and I was genuinely impressed, possibly more than I have been for any other audition this season. Whether she can sing anything other than jazz and blues remains to be seen, but if this girl can write a song, she could potentially be Australia's answer to Adele. Watch out kids.

Sophie Paterson (London): Now, I know this girl only played an excerpt from one song, but I'll go out on a limb here and say that she's possibly one of the best songwriters the show has ever seen. Having said that, songwriting skills aren't exactly a guarantee for Idol success; Bobby Flynn and Marty Simpson are exhibits A and B. Nevertheless, this was a sublime audition, and Tina Arena was rightly impressed. Whether she can tackle disco is another matter.

Chrisalyn Hamilton (Brisbane): If you don't know her, she's the one from the ad. You know, the one from the ad. The big girl, who says "Can you feel it in your booooooooooooooones". She's got pipes, she's a total Aretha clone, but what I worry about is whether that's really marketable in 2008. Who actually releases records in the style of Aretha Franklin anymore? Blew Tarisai out of the water, in any case. She's young and it will be intriguing to watch her develop.

Other ones to watch include Roshani Priddis, an adopted Sri Lankan who sung some John Legend nicely, Nicole Banks from Melbourne, who, despite saying the word "like" far too many times for my liking (yeah, that was a pun), had an actual personality, a rarity on idol. Finally, keep your eye on Casey Freeman, from Nowhere Creek, who could barely string a sentence together. I wonder about her longevity in Idol and whether she can sing a rock or disco song, but in sitting on the floor with her guitar, she matched it with the best of them.

So that's a wrap, kids. I'll post again very shortly; I'm compiling a "Ten Great Australian Idol Performances List". Comment and debate please; until then, listen to Vampire Weekend and MGMT, go Cats and I'll see you soon.

Peace/love/ya/ya/ya

me.

Monday, February 18, 2008

So You Think You Can Dance - Top 20

Well, it’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for – the competition gets serious. Top 20 round is a chance to showcase the best of the thousands who have auditioned for So You Think You Can Dance, which is currently dominating the ratings. What am I looking for? Some more awkwardness from our hostess, some bitter judging and some fiery dancing, which should make for an entertaining night in front of the couch.

The regulars are shown to us after a quick be-bopping group number from the dancers. Everybody’s favourite host Natalie Bassingthwho is resplendent in a black one-strap number, with hair that looks as if she’s spent her entire day with her face directly in front of a high-powered fan. Paddle Pop Lion can be called Paddle Pop Lion no longer, as he’s finally got rid of that Rod Stewart hair for a more regulation crop. Bonnie Lythgoe is as cringe worthy as usual, while “little brother” Matt Lee has ditched his angled cap for a more grown up (and more bogan) pork pie. Hostess Nat explains the competition rules and it’s game time.

Bundle of trouble Rhiannon is up first, picking hip hop and scoring hip hop specialist JD as a partner. Well, that’s likely to be quite a recipe for quality, although it might have been more interesting to watch the pair of them squirm through a salsa or something. Never mind. We’re shown a quick montage (they really do love their montages on this show, don’t they?) of the contestants’ backgrounds; Rhiannon is 18 from a disadvantaged suburb in Sydney, whose parents appear to have sacrificed a great deal for her to dance. Sob story much? Well, it doesn’t end there, as we learn that JD was abandoned by his parents in the Philippines at the age of four, before coming to Australia and being adopted by loving mother Julie. I do appreciate the backgrounds of these kids – but it does seem like you’re not the complete package unless you’ve got some particular story behind you on this show.

Never mind – it’s on to choreography now with Manuela Oliveira, who announces they’ll be dancing to “Kiss Kiss”, some American hip hop dirge. “The lift’s really hard and we might not actually be able to do it,” quips Rhiannon, which bodes well for some Dominic/Sabra-style entertainment. The dancers get grumpy with their choreographer, who in turn appears disappointment at their “narrow-minded” nature.

Unfortunately for the cynics among us the lift comes off and they actually do rather well. Mind you, remember my knowledge of dance technique is almost zero. Rhiannon impressed me a little more than JD, which was surprising, given his status as an early favourite. She might have looked space-age in that plasticky-leather-style crop top with cravate, but I liked it anyway. Bassingthththththwaite leads the pair through a breathless interview Tour-de-France style, where the interviewees can barely get a word in through their own panting. “Have you arrived?” Nat asks somewhat puzzlingly, and I begin to wonder whether we’ve been watching holograms for the past two minutes. The judges love it, and “Miss Bonnie” agrees that Rhiannon was the stand out. Paddle Pop Lion has some quibbles with the “unison” of the dancers, but who cares – average Joe Blow doesn’t care about what part of the beat they’re dancing on. Certainties to get through to next week is my verdict.

Next up is Courtney who picks “Lyrical Jazz” and is paired with Hilton. Again, another pair who appear to be well within their comfort zone. Amongst the brief montages, Courtney appears to be the spitting image of her mother, who both must still get their perms together. Hilton, on the other hand, is rooting for the tweenage girl vote, stomping around on the beach shirtless. Kelly Aykers provides choreography, announcing the theme of “Romeo and Juliet”. Cue more crying from Courtney, probably. It’s all very wishy washy, which is how this style always appears to me, and doesn’t excite me the way the hip-hoppers did. Bonnie found the chemistry, which I thought was inherently missing. Courtney is told her technique ain’t up to scratch by Matt, while Bonnie thinks they’ll both go a long way. Paddle Pop Lion gives an extended spiel that sounds as if he’d typed it up on his little laptop during the performance. Give us some spontaneous quips, Jase. Nat goes through the numbers and it’s the ads again.

It’s Vanessa up third, the Cindy Pan look-alike with the most high-pitched, twee voice ever heard. She’s paired with Henry, a Latin specialist. Why can’t we have someone look completely awkward…how will I ever be scathing if the dancing is so good?!! Vanessa apparently had a hiatus from dance for three years, which honestly amazes me – her flexibility is quite incredible. Henry, who gets those arms a-jiggling Latin-style, likes windsurfing. Go figure.

Anyway, Luda and Oliver, five-times world salsa champions, are the choreographers – Luda of Strictly Dancing and Dancing With The Stars fame. It’s supposed to be tough choreography – and as the dance begins, that proves to be true. Henry is exuberant and energetic, while Vanessa is slightly lacking in that…je ne sais quoi. I don’t blame her, however, as she’s whirled around Henry’s head, spun around like a spinning top and then dragged in circles across the floor, all while Henry does some arm wiggling, with hairy chest thrust out. The judges agree that Vanessa looked out of her comfort zone – yet they still agreed it was pretty good – and I’m with them. The routine of the night at this point.

Camilla is the fourth girl to pick her style and she gets “musical theatre”, whatever that means dancing-wise. She’s paired with Sermsah, and this should certainly be interesting. Camilla’s the country girl, Sermsah the humble, sole-indigenous contestant. They’re choregraphed by Adam Williams, who announces they’ll dance to a modern remix of “Hey Big Spender”. Self-confidence issues for Sermsah are still there, apparently. The routine starts and Camilla is all slicked-hair and lycra, while Sermsah is dressed ninja-style with war paint across his eyes. I’m not exactly sure how the routine is “musical theatre” – the burglary theme is lost on me. Anyway, they do it rather well, although there was a noticeable stuff up in one of the lifts. Matt concurs with me (am I a good judge or what?), Bonnie waffles for a while about nothing in particular, asking them questions rather than judging herself, and Jason gives Sermsah an obscure metaphor about saddles and bridles and horses manes and eventually decides that it was “hot hot hot”. Not bad, I thought, but then again, nothing has been particularly bad so far.

Fifth up is Jemma, who gleefully shows her wonky teeth when she picks waltz as her style. Her partner is Rhys, a man more feminine than half the females on the show. Jemma’s another sob story – she had breathing problems early on in life and was in and out of hospital. Rhys, on the other hand, sports one of those hideous Ben Cousins plunging V-necks before getting dolled up in eye shadow and women’s earrings. Kiddies, look away now. Interestingly his Dad is completely supportive of Rhys’ “lifestyle”… “he’s still my son”, he says plaintively. Ocker as ever. A glimpse of Rhys in drag is surely enough for Oxford Street residents to get their phones out.

Jason Gilkinson is the choreographer; his partner is another girl I’m sure I’ve seen on another dancing program. Errors in practice are bad signs for the pair, but to their credit, it appears flawless, at least to me. The only problem I had with it was the atrocious music (which sounded suspiciously like Celine Dion) that seemed to start and end abruptly. “You did great”, says Matt the kid. “Stunning,” says Miss Bonnie. It’s Jason’s favourite routine of the evening so far – and I concur, actually. Neither of these were my favourites coming in to the night, but both are more than deserving of a spot next week.

Up next is Laura, a mysterious girl who we haven’t seen a great deal of in the early audition shows. She’s partnered with Anthony, brother of a rugby league player and another early favourite. Adelaide resident Laura is flying the flag for her state, who apparently chose dance over tennis, an interesting decision. Never mind, her family are well and truly behind her. Anthony, an aerobics champion, didn’t start dancing proper until seventeen – Sabra anyone??. “Jet” is the choreographer for their routine, which is “contemporary lyrical”. Laura fails to impress while Anthony struggles to emote.

The routine begins, Anthony typically topless, with Laura not wearing much either. It’s “lyrical”, punctuated by a spectacularly high lift, but “Jet” was right – Laura is far too blah while Anthony’s incredible acrobatics make him the stand out. The judges aren’t with me – Laura was “exceptional”, according to Miss Bonnie. (What is with this Miss Bonnie thing anyway– another Natalie foible, I suppose…). “Excellent”, said Paddle Pop Lion, and Anthony’s sailing through to the next round, while Laura may have to dance for her life. Anyway, what would I know.

Sexy Stephanie is seventh, paired with another unknown, Marko. They’re given jive, an unknown dance for Marko but something that should be plain sailing for Steph. Jason Gilkinson is choreographing again, and both of them appear rather perturbed by the high-kicking style. Stephanie has troubles with concentration, while Marko is like a rabbit in the headlights. They’re dressed bizarrely – Stephanie a gothic Imogen Heap, Marko all plaid, dog collars, boots and mesh. They seem to have shaken off their cobwebs from rehearsal, because they seem, again, pretty damn good (apart from the Veronicas music, of course). Some effortless lifts and nice acrobatics make it another terrific routine. A very different jive, the judges say, but “fabulous” all the same. Jason hated it, however – the first totally negative judgement of the show. Go away, Jason – I actually liked it. No chemistry, he claims, and no correlation between music, costume and dance. Bonnie reinforces her view and gives Paddle Pop Lion a bit of Miss Bonnie attitude, to rapturous applause. “Each to their own,” says Nat, her first intelligent comment ever. Anyway, they may have to dance for their lives tomorrow night, but they don’t deserve to.

Kate, a dancer I’d never heard of until the Top 20 was announced, is paired with Khaly, a b-boy with piercings littered all over his face. They’re given “contemporary jazz”, which should be interesting for Khaly at least. Kate is another one who has gone through medical trauma – a hole in her spine meant she was only given a 10% chance of walking. Is this supposed to be Camp Quality or something? Khaly, on the other hand, describes himself as “family-orientated”. Too bad, Khaly, you’ve got no sob story – will you get beyond this week?? They’re dancing to that bizarre Silverchair track, “If You Keep Losing Sleep”, which is certainly a “left of centre” choice, as Kate describes it. Khaly struggles with the style during rehearsal, which at last bodes for some theatrics. It doesn’t help their cause that Khaly is much shorter than Kate – this is possibly the oddest pairing of the night. They come out dressed in a fifties style, which is all well and good, until the music starts. Now, I love Silverchair, but they could not have made a more bizarre song choice for this style. Khaly puts his head into his hands as if he is pained for some reason, but the flamboyance of the music kills the mood. Probably the worst of the night, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they were slaughtered here. But no – my non-existent dancing expertise doesn’t hold up here. Kate is “the finest female dancer in the competition”, which makes me wonder why we’ve never seen her before. Bonnie loves it too, as my eyebrows furrow even further. Surely Paddle Pop Lion has something negative to say – and yes, he does, thank god. But in the end he says they did a great job…hypocritical much?? Anyway, the numbers are announced, it’s ads time and surely, the end is nigh.

“Couple Number Nine” is energetic Demi, who draws “Boogaloo” out of the bucket. What on earth that is, I’ve no idea, but she seems rather excited about the whole thing. She’s up with Jack, who was subject to torment from his older sisters, who liked dressing him up as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. The strangely named Nacho Pop choreographs the routine, which appears to be some sort of hip-hop style. They come out dressed like gangsters, and I expect something jazzy, but the routine instead consists of a series of robotic movements which succeed in making both dancers look like they have extremely short arms. Okay, I’m being dreadfully cynical here – that was actually quite incredible – and Demi, particularly, shone brightly. Matt “felt the funk”…he’s turning out to be the Marcia of the show – he rarely offers abrasive comment. Bonnie loved it and offers one of her now idiosyncratic spiels, complete with waffly hand movements. Paddle Pop Lion announces they’re a huge thread and have likeability that’s off the scale. One of the best of the night, and they’re sailing through to Top 18 week.

The final couple to dance is blonde bombshell Kassy, who’s paired with the only dancer left – young Sydneysider Graeme. Kassy is the third girl of the night to have had medical difficulties in the past…I sense a theme here. Graeme used to be a musician, which is interesting, and got a hard time at school when he took up dancing. “The girls’ll love him”, say his ocker mates. Yannus takes them through a lyrical hip hop routine, and as with nearly all other couples, they have difficulty coping with tough choreography. And, as with nearly all other couples, they appear to nail it on the night – Kassy looks stunning, while Graeme sorts his problems out. Again the music is dreadful though – I really am quite sick of Leona Lewis. Another terrific routine and I’m finding it awfully difficult to write acerbic criticism. I think I’ve picked the wrong show to blog. It’s Bonnie’s favourite of the night, while Paddle Pop Lion thought it was “art”. Another pair of certainties through to next week.

So, after all that – some summary. Well, Jack and Demi impressed me, I liked Marko and Stephanie, Rhys and Jemma was surprisingly good and Kassy and Graeme were very classy. Rhiannon is now one of my favourite girls, while Sermsah remains my favourite guy despite some troubles tonight. My picks to go? Khaly, who really struggled outside of b-boying, and Laura, who despite her beauty was just too “meh” for me tonight. Importantly, I think the dancers proved that there is enough Australian talent to compare it to the American show...just. :P

And that’s over and out…I’ve really been typing and watching this for far too long! Tonight we eagerly await elimination…and the Veronicas! (yuck).

;) peace

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

So You Think You Can Dance - Latest Update...

Good morning to you all (actually it'll be afternoon by the time I've finished writing this). I'm chiming in here with another update on that darned dancing show, you know, the one that goes for one and a half hours and has more footage of the contestants crying then them actually dancing. Hell, go figure.

Anyway I watched both Sunday's and Monday's episodes of the show, although I'm not exactly keen on the idea of doing a blow-by-blow account of the show as I did for the opening episode. This is partly due to the fact that I don't have enough time to rewatch and rewind and fast forward my taped version of Sunday's show, and also because I didn't tape last nights. And also because I just can't be bothered. :P

So I guess I'll just have to muse on some of the things I remember about the shows...

Sunday's was the start of the Top 100 week and Natalie Bassingthththththtththththththwaighte continues to get on my nerves. I'm sorry, but this girl has had a complete charisma bypass...I'm not a Neighbours watcher, so I don't know about her acting skills, but it seems to me that she should stick to making cruddy bogan dance-pop music. (Sorry.) Anyway, the remaining contestants had a little game of chasey through an old warehouse type place before they were all sitting cross legged on the floor and being instructed by those who knew better. Primary school much?

There are four judges today though - Kellie is a guest who has been a principal in millions of musicals and adds "experience" to the panel. This is obviously intended to make up for baby-faced Matt's "lack of"...every time I look at him I just think of those kids on Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?

The dancing begins with the wonderfully named Nacho Pop teaching the guys a difficult hip hop routine. Five poor kids are sent home before they even get a chance to perform it. A little harsh I say, but then again, those judges know best. Cue a lot of crying scenes and wet mascara and painfully awkward camera angles as the rejected contestants call their parent tearfully. Ahh, the beauty of reality television.

The ballroom dancers struggle, a heap are given "two yesses and two nos", meaning they're sent through to "Dance For Your Life", which is just a tad hyperbolic...what about "Dance So I Can Stay In The Competition Maybe For An Extra Day Or So"...?? I suppose it just doesn't have that ring to it. Anyway, about seventy odd make the grade through to the next round.

Next up it's Jason who does a passable impersonation of Mr. Tickle with his exuberant hand wiggling. I suppose that's just ballroom dancing for you. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the considerable skill of ballroom dancers, but sometimes it just can look so silly. The B-Boys and Fly-Girls (PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!!!) who cruised through the hip hop are now not looking so hip, whilst the poor contemporary and ballet people are getting out their voodoo dolls, wondering why on earth their style was being saved until later.

Amongst all this there are dancers dropping like ninepins. Sob-story Bessi from the opening episode is given the flick amidst more tears. Macho-man David is also told he's not good enough.
Artemi, who I swear has been on another dancing show my family used to watch on the ABC, is cut. The pressure is on....

Then the contemporary kids get their revenge as guest judge Kellie teaches the group some tricky jazz choreography. Things are really getting intense now - indigenous dancer Sermsah, a favourite of mine from the auditions, is vomiting and needs a massage, Stephanie is requiring ice, and everyone seems to be crying, from the contestants to the host to the judges. Sermsah, who has lost his mother, and Bessi, who has escaped civil war, are excused for letting out a few tears. But when a girl spontaneously cries mid-conversation with Natalie Bassingthwhatever, I started to wonder if the producers were releasing onion gas onto the set. Emotion and passion are what we want to see, but perhaps not to this rather ridiculous excess.

Everybody wants a good night's sleep now (including this viewer) but then our favourite host spoils the party, by telling everyone they have to come up with a group routine by the morning, OR ELSE. This scenario produced some interesting results - Csaba's group's marionette routine looked cool but backfired spectacularly with the judges, whilst Camilla's group's number looked pathetic but the judges loved it. Clearly, I know nothing about dance. Again I found myself liking Sermsah's group's routine over the others - this was emotional dance without being prissy. On the other hand, mohawked Rhys is quickly putting his nomination forward for the title of "Prissiest Man in the World", drawing inspiration from Prince, the Rocky Horror Picture Show and Husny Thalib all at once. Rumour has it that he used to be on a preschoolers TV show. Now there's controversy WAY bigger than that whole "I'm going to the zoo with my two mums" thing on Playschool.

After more eliminations, more tears and more tantrums, it then came down at last to solo dances, the bit I was probably looking forward to most, although I seem to remember nothing more than a fast-paced montage with some dreadful song backed to it, and some attempted lusty voiceovers from....you-know-who.

And so it comes down to decision time. Sermsah is in early on, which left me pretty happy. But there were plenty of surprises. Experienced dancing-program-hopper Csaba is rejected. BJ, who was memorably given a second chance and was lauded for his ability to come back from the dead, is kicked out. Stephanie, the giraffe-like contemporary girl from Perth, is also gone...and a personal favourite, Gianne, is told there's no place for her. Better luck next year, I guess.

Ballroom partners Stephanie and Henry are put through, while the other coupling, Brendan and Jemma, only has a fifty percent success rate. Demi, the lesbian Filipino with more energy than a jack-in-the-box on Valium, is given a spot and bursts into tears while telling her deaf sister the news in Auslan. Her brother Carlo is not so lucky, but he's happy for her anyway.

Versatile bald hip-hopper JD is given a place and looms as an early favourite. The glamorously named Hilton is also sent through but his diminutive girlfriend isn't so lucky. Such is life, girl. Others to go through include strong-bodied Anthony, who is destined to be some sort of gay icon, Khaly, a hip-hopper whose face is covered with piercings, fiesty jazz dancer Camilla, blonde bimbo Kassie,"bundle of trouble" Rhiannon, Melbourne dancer Courtney who always seems to be in tears, Rhys the fairy boy, Hairspray kid Jack and Vanessa, who, if she ever gets the chance, could play the title role in "Dr. Cindy Pan, The Musical" rather well.

Also included in the group were a stack of contestants I swear have never been featured on the show at all...Marko, Kate, Graeme and Laura all appear to be a great disadvantage seeing as they've had almost no screen time. Oh well...sucks to be them, I guess.

So now the program really starts...now we get to see what the dancers are really like, whether the hip hoppers can convert to ballroom, the ballroomers to contemporary, and the contemporary guy to breakdancing. Ah, the joy of trashy television..

;) peace

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Lazy Me

Unfortunately my tenth post brings nothing but an apology. I missed So You Think You Can Dance? again last night, and hence I have no review for you, AGAIN. Never you mind, there is no way I'm missing Sunday's show. Even if I'm out I'll make sure that it's taped...or at least try to. I guess I'm just going to have to rely on readers to fill me in on the shenanigans from the previous two episodes.

I suppose I do have a legitimate excuse for missing the show though - I went to the soccer at the Telstra Dome, where Australia gave Qatar, the minute Arabian tax haven, a walloping. We had terrific seats, there was a great atmosphere and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. It was the first time I'd been to a soccer match - the first of many, I hope. Perhaps, when I'm out of university and rich (lol...fat chance), I'll travel to see the Socceroos in the World Cup - 2014, maybe? 2018 might be better...anyhow, enough speculation, that's my excuse. So yeah.

Other than that, my s key isn't working very well at all - I keep leaving the s off verbs and the like - I have to press it down about three times for it to work - I have my little school leavers function tonight followed by a jovial get-together with friends. I'm cleaning out the study and praying for some work, and wihing (there's an example of the lost s) ... wishing that some nice cash would come my way.

;) peace out