So You Think You Can Dance - Top 20

Well, it’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for – the competition gets serious. Top 20 round is a chance to showcase the best of the thousands who have auditioned for So You Think You Can Dance, which is currently dominating the ratings. What am I looking for? Some more awkwardness from our hostess, some bitter judging and some fiery dancing, which should make for an entertaining night in front of the couch.

The regulars are shown to us after a quick be-bopping group number from the dancers. Everybody’s favourite host Natalie Bassingthwho is resplendent in a black one-strap number, with hair that looks as if she’s spent her entire day with her face directly in front of a high-powered fan. Paddle Pop Lion can be called Paddle Pop Lion no longer, as he’s finally got rid of that Rod Stewart hair for a more regulation crop. Bonnie Lythgoe is as cringe worthy as usual, while “little brother” Matt Lee has ditched his angled cap for a more grown up (and more bogan) pork pie. Hostess Nat explains the competition rules and it’s game time.

Bundle of trouble Rhiannon is up first, picking hip hop and scoring hip hop specialist JD as a partner. Well, that’s likely to be quite a recipe for quality, although it might have been more interesting to watch the pair of them squirm through a salsa or something. Never mind. We’re shown a quick montage (they really do love their montages on this show, don’t they?) of the contestants’ backgrounds; Rhiannon is 18 from a disadvantaged suburb in Sydney, whose parents appear to have sacrificed a great deal for her to dance. Sob story much? Well, it doesn’t end there, as we learn that JD was abandoned by his parents in the Philippines at the age of four, before coming to Australia and being adopted by loving mother Julie. I do appreciate the backgrounds of these kids – but it does seem like you’re not the complete package unless you’ve got some particular story behind you on this show.

Never mind – it’s on to choreography now with Manuela Oliveira, who announces they’ll be dancing to “Kiss Kiss”, some American hip hop dirge. “The lift’s really hard and we might not actually be able to do it,” quips Rhiannon, which bodes well for some Dominic/Sabra-style entertainment. The dancers get grumpy with their choreographer, who in turn appears disappointment at their “narrow-minded” nature.

Unfortunately for the cynics among us the lift comes off and they actually do rather well. Mind you, remember my knowledge of dance technique is almost zero. Rhiannon impressed me a little more than JD, which was surprising, given his status as an early favourite. She might have looked space-age in that plasticky-leather-style crop top with cravate, but I liked it anyway. Bassingthththththwaite leads the pair through a breathless interview Tour-de-France style, where the interviewees can barely get a word in through their own panting. “Have you arrived?” Nat asks somewhat puzzlingly, and I begin to wonder whether we’ve been watching holograms for the past two minutes. The judges love it, and “Miss Bonnie” agrees that Rhiannon was the stand out. Paddle Pop Lion has some quibbles with the “unison” of the dancers, but who cares – average Joe Blow doesn’t care about what part of the beat they’re dancing on. Certainties to get through to next week is my verdict.

Next up is Courtney who picks “Lyrical Jazz” and is paired with Hilton. Again, another pair who appear to be well within their comfort zone. Amongst the brief montages, Courtney appears to be the spitting image of her mother, who both must still get their perms together. Hilton, on the other hand, is rooting for the tweenage girl vote, stomping around on the beach shirtless. Kelly Aykers provides choreography, announcing the theme of “Romeo and Juliet”. Cue more crying from Courtney, probably. It’s all very wishy washy, which is how this style always appears to me, and doesn’t excite me the way the hip-hoppers did. Bonnie found the chemistry, which I thought was inherently missing. Courtney is told her technique ain’t up to scratch by Matt, while Bonnie thinks they’ll both go a long way. Paddle Pop Lion gives an extended spiel that sounds as if he’d typed it up on his little laptop during the performance. Give us some spontaneous quips, Jase. Nat goes through the numbers and it’s the ads again.

It’s Vanessa up third, the Cindy Pan look-alike with the most high-pitched, twee voice ever heard. She’s paired with Henry, a Latin specialist. Why can’t we have someone look completely awkward…how will I ever be scathing if the dancing is so good?!! Vanessa apparently had a hiatus from dance for three years, which honestly amazes me – her flexibility is quite incredible. Henry, who gets those arms a-jiggling Latin-style, likes windsurfing. Go figure.

Anyway, Luda and Oliver, five-times world salsa champions, are the choreographers – Luda of Strictly Dancing and Dancing With The Stars fame. It’s supposed to be tough choreography – and as the dance begins, that proves to be true. Henry is exuberant and energetic, while Vanessa is slightly lacking in that…je ne sais quoi. I don’t blame her, however, as she’s whirled around Henry’s head, spun around like a spinning top and then dragged in circles across the floor, all while Henry does some arm wiggling, with hairy chest thrust out. The judges agree that Vanessa looked out of her comfort zone – yet they still agreed it was pretty good – and I’m with them. The routine of the night at this point.

Camilla is the fourth girl to pick her style and she gets “musical theatre”, whatever that means dancing-wise. She’s paired with Sermsah, and this should certainly be interesting. Camilla’s the country girl, Sermsah the humble, sole-indigenous contestant. They’re choregraphed by Adam Williams, who announces they’ll dance to a modern remix of “Hey Big Spender”. Self-confidence issues for Sermsah are still there, apparently. The routine starts and Camilla is all slicked-hair and lycra, while Sermsah is dressed ninja-style with war paint across his eyes. I’m not exactly sure how the routine is “musical theatre” – the burglary theme is lost on me. Anyway, they do it rather well, although there was a noticeable stuff up in one of the lifts. Matt concurs with me (am I a good judge or what?), Bonnie waffles for a while about nothing in particular, asking them questions rather than judging herself, and Jason gives Sermsah an obscure metaphor about saddles and bridles and horses manes and eventually decides that it was “hot hot hot”. Not bad, I thought, but then again, nothing has been particularly bad so far.

Fifth up is Jemma, who gleefully shows her wonky teeth when she picks waltz as her style. Her partner is Rhys, a man more feminine than half the females on the show. Jemma’s another sob story – she had breathing problems early on in life and was in and out of hospital. Rhys, on the other hand, sports one of those hideous Ben Cousins plunging V-necks before getting dolled up in eye shadow and women’s earrings. Kiddies, look away now. Interestingly his Dad is completely supportive of Rhys’ “lifestyle”… “he’s still my son”, he says plaintively. Ocker as ever. A glimpse of Rhys in drag is surely enough for Oxford Street residents to get their phones out.

Jason Gilkinson is the choreographer; his partner is another girl I’m sure I’ve seen on another dancing program. Errors in practice are bad signs for the pair, but to their credit, it appears flawless, at least to me. The only problem I had with it was the atrocious music (which sounded suspiciously like Celine Dion) that seemed to start and end abruptly. “You did great”, says Matt the kid. “Stunning,” says Miss Bonnie. It’s Jason’s favourite routine of the evening so far – and I concur, actually. Neither of these were my favourites coming in to the night, but both are more than deserving of a spot next week.

Up next is Laura, a mysterious girl who we haven’t seen a great deal of in the early audition shows. She’s partnered with Anthony, brother of a rugby league player and another early favourite. Adelaide resident Laura is flying the flag for her state, who apparently chose dance over tennis, an interesting decision. Never mind, her family are well and truly behind her. Anthony, an aerobics champion, didn’t start dancing proper until seventeen – Sabra anyone??. “Jet” is the choreographer for their routine, which is “contemporary lyrical”. Laura fails to impress while Anthony struggles to emote.

The routine begins, Anthony typically topless, with Laura not wearing much either. It’s “lyrical”, punctuated by a spectacularly high lift, but “Jet” was right – Laura is far too blah while Anthony’s incredible acrobatics make him the stand out. The judges aren’t with me – Laura was “exceptional”, according to Miss Bonnie. (What is with this Miss Bonnie thing anyway– another Natalie foible, I suppose…). “Excellent”, said Paddle Pop Lion, and Anthony’s sailing through to the next round, while Laura may have to dance for her life. Anyway, what would I know.

Sexy Stephanie is seventh, paired with another unknown, Marko. They’re given jive, an unknown dance for Marko but something that should be plain sailing for Steph. Jason Gilkinson is choreographing again, and both of them appear rather perturbed by the high-kicking style. Stephanie has troubles with concentration, while Marko is like a rabbit in the headlights. They’re dressed bizarrely – Stephanie a gothic Imogen Heap, Marko all plaid, dog collars, boots and mesh. They seem to have shaken off their cobwebs from rehearsal, because they seem, again, pretty damn good (apart from the Veronicas music, of course). Some effortless lifts and nice acrobatics make it another terrific routine. A very different jive, the judges say, but “fabulous” all the same. Jason hated it, however – the first totally negative judgement of the show. Go away, Jason – I actually liked it. No chemistry, he claims, and no correlation between music, costume and dance. Bonnie reinforces her view and gives Paddle Pop Lion a bit of Miss Bonnie attitude, to rapturous applause. “Each to their own,” says Nat, her first intelligent comment ever. Anyway, they may have to dance for their lives tomorrow night, but they don’t deserve to.

Kate, a dancer I’d never heard of until the Top 20 was announced, is paired with Khaly, a b-boy with piercings littered all over his face. They’re given “contemporary jazz”, which should be interesting for Khaly at least. Kate is another one who has gone through medical trauma – a hole in her spine meant she was only given a 10% chance of walking. Is this supposed to be Camp Quality or something? Khaly, on the other hand, describes himself as “family-orientated”. Too bad, Khaly, you’ve got no sob story – will you get beyond this week?? They’re dancing to that bizarre Silverchair track, “If You Keep Losing Sleep”, which is certainly a “left of centre” choice, as Kate describes it. Khaly struggles with the style during rehearsal, which at last bodes for some theatrics. It doesn’t help their cause that Khaly is much shorter than Kate – this is possibly the oddest pairing of the night. They come out dressed in a fifties style, which is all well and good, until the music starts. Now, I love Silverchair, but they could not have made a more bizarre song choice for this style. Khaly puts his head into his hands as if he is pained for some reason, but the flamboyance of the music kills the mood. Probably the worst of the night, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they were slaughtered here. But no – my non-existent dancing expertise doesn’t hold up here. Kate is “the finest female dancer in the competition”, which makes me wonder why we’ve never seen her before. Bonnie loves it too, as my eyebrows furrow even further. Surely Paddle Pop Lion has something negative to say – and yes, he does, thank god. But in the end he says they did a great job…hypocritical much?? Anyway, the numbers are announced, it’s ads time and surely, the end is nigh.

“Couple Number Nine” is energetic Demi, who draws “Boogaloo” out of the bucket. What on earth that is, I’ve no idea, but she seems rather excited about the whole thing. She’s up with Jack, who was subject to torment from his older sisters, who liked dressing him up as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. The strangely named Nacho Pop choreographs the routine, which appears to be some sort of hip-hop style. They come out dressed like gangsters, and I expect something jazzy, but the routine instead consists of a series of robotic movements which succeed in making both dancers look like they have extremely short arms. Okay, I’m being dreadfully cynical here – that was actually quite incredible – and Demi, particularly, shone brightly. Matt “felt the funk”…he’s turning out to be the Marcia of the show – he rarely offers abrasive comment. Bonnie loved it and offers one of her now idiosyncratic spiels, complete with waffly hand movements. Paddle Pop Lion announces they’re a huge thread and have likeability that’s off the scale. One of the best of the night, and they’re sailing through to Top 18 week.

The final couple to dance is blonde bombshell Kassy, who’s paired with the only dancer left – young Sydneysider Graeme. Kassy is the third girl of the night to have had medical difficulties in the past…I sense a theme here. Graeme used to be a musician, which is interesting, and got a hard time at school when he took up dancing. “The girls’ll love him”, say his ocker mates. Yannus takes them through a lyrical hip hop routine, and as with nearly all other couples, they have difficulty coping with tough choreography. And, as with nearly all other couples, they appear to nail it on the night – Kassy looks stunning, while Graeme sorts his problems out. Again the music is dreadful though – I really am quite sick of Leona Lewis. Another terrific routine and I’m finding it awfully difficult to write acerbic criticism. I think I’ve picked the wrong show to blog. It’s Bonnie’s favourite of the night, while Paddle Pop Lion thought it was “art”. Another pair of certainties through to next week.

So, after all that – some summary. Well, Jack and Demi impressed me, I liked Marko and Stephanie, Rhys and Jemma was surprisingly good and Kassy and Graeme were very classy. Rhiannon is now one of my favourite girls, while Sermsah remains my favourite guy despite some troubles tonight. My picks to go? Khaly, who really struggled outside of b-boying, and Laura, who despite her beauty was just too “meh” for me tonight. Importantly, I think the dancers proved that there is enough Australian talent to compare it to the American show...just. :P

And that’s over and out…I’ve really been typing and watching this for far too long! Tonight we eagerly await elimination…and the Veronicas! (yuck).

;) peace

So You Think You Can Dance - Latest Update...

Good morning to you all (actually it'll be afternoon by the time I've finished writing this). I'm chiming in here with another update on that darned dancing show, you know, the one that goes for one and a half hours and has more footage of the contestants crying then them actually dancing. Hell, go figure.

Anyway I watched both Sunday's and Monday's episodes of the show, although I'm not exactly keen on the idea of doing a blow-by-blow account of the show as I did for the opening episode. This is partly due to the fact that I don't have enough time to rewatch and rewind and fast forward my taped version of Sunday's show, and also because I didn't tape last nights. And also because I just can't be bothered. :P

So I guess I'll just have to muse on some of the things I remember about the shows...

Sunday's was the start of the Top 100 week and Natalie Bassingthththththtththththththwaighte continues to get on my nerves. I'm sorry, but this girl has had a complete charisma bypass...I'm not a Neighbours watcher, so I don't know about her acting skills, but it seems to me that she should stick to making cruddy bogan dance-pop music. (Sorry.) Anyway, the remaining contestants had a little game of chasey through an old warehouse type place before they were all sitting cross legged on the floor and being instructed by those who knew better. Primary school much?

There are four judges today though - Kellie is a guest who has been a principal in millions of musicals and adds "experience" to the panel. This is obviously intended to make up for baby-faced Matt's "lack of"...every time I look at him I just think of those kids on Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?

The dancing begins with the wonderfully named Nacho Pop teaching the guys a difficult hip hop routine. Five poor kids are sent home before they even get a chance to perform it. A little harsh I say, but then again, those judges know best. Cue a lot of crying scenes and wet mascara and painfully awkward camera angles as the rejected contestants call their parent tearfully. Ahh, the beauty of reality television.

The ballroom dancers struggle, a heap are given "two yesses and two nos", meaning they're sent through to "Dance For Your Life", which is just a tad hyperbolic...what about "Dance So I Can Stay In The Competition Maybe For An Extra Day Or So"...?? I suppose it just doesn't have that ring to it. Anyway, about seventy odd make the grade through to the next round.

Next up it's Jason who does a passable impersonation of Mr. Tickle with his exuberant hand wiggling. I suppose that's just ballroom dancing for you. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the considerable skill of ballroom dancers, but sometimes it just can look so silly. The B-Boys and Fly-Girls (PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!!!) who cruised through the hip hop are now not looking so hip, whilst the poor contemporary and ballet people are getting out their voodoo dolls, wondering why on earth their style was being saved until later.

Amongst all this there are dancers dropping like ninepins. Sob-story Bessi from the opening episode is given the flick amidst more tears. Macho-man David is also told he's not good enough.
Artemi, who I swear has been on another dancing show my family used to watch on the ABC, is cut. The pressure is on....

Then the contemporary kids get their revenge as guest judge Kellie teaches the group some tricky jazz choreography. Things are really getting intense now - indigenous dancer Sermsah, a favourite of mine from the auditions, is vomiting and needs a massage, Stephanie is requiring ice, and everyone seems to be crying, from the contestants to the host to the judges. Sermsah, who has lost his mother, and Bessi, who has escaped civil war, are excused for letting out a few tears. But when a girl spontaneously cries mid-conversation with Natalie Bassingthwhatever, I started to wonder if the producers were releasing onion gas onto the set. Emotion and passion are what we want to see, but perhaps not to this rather ridiculous excess.

Everybody wants a good night's sleep now (including this viewer) but then our favourite host spoils the party, by telling everyone they have to come up with a group routine by the morning, OR ELSE. This scenario produced some interesting results - Csaba's group's marionette routine looked cool but backfired spectacularly with the judges, whilst Camilla's group's number looked pathetic but the judges loved it. Clearly, I know nothing about dance. Again I found myself liking Sermsah's group's routine over the others - this was emotional dance without being prissy. On the other hand, mohawked Rhys is quickly putting his nomination forward for the title of "Prissiest Man in the World", drawing inspiration from Prince, the Rocky Horror Picture Show and Husny Thalib all at once. Rumour has it that he used to be on a preschoolers TV show. Now there's controversy WAY bigger than that whole "I'm going to the zoo with my two mums" thing on Playschool.

After more eliminations, more tears and more tantrums, it then came down at last to solo dances, the bit I was probably looking forward to most, although I seem to remember nothing more than a fast-paced montage with some dreadful song backed to it, and some attempted lusty voiceovers from....you-know-who.

And so it comes down to decision time. Sermsah is in early on, which left me pretty happy. But there were plenty of surprises. Experienced dancing-program-hopper Csaba is rejected. BJ, who was memorably given a second chance and was lauded for his ability to come back from the dead, is kicked out. Stephanie, the giraffe-like contemporary girl from Perth, is also gone...and a personal favourite, Gianne, is told there's no place for her. Better luck next year, I guess.

Ballroom partners Stephanie and Henry are put through, while the other coupling, Brendan and Jemma, only has a fifty percent success rate. Demi, the lesbian Filipino with more energy than a jack-in-the-box on Valium, is given a spot and bursts into tears while telling her deaf sister the news in Auslan. Her brother Carlo is not so lucky, but he's happy for her anyway.

Versatile bald hip-hopper JD is given a place and looms as an early favourite. The glamorously named Hilton is also sent through but his diminutive girlfriend isn't so lucky. Such is life, girl. Others to go through include strong-bodied Anthony, who is destined to be some sort of gay icon, Khaly, a hip-hopper whose face is covered with piercings, fiesty jazz dancer Camilla, blonde bimbo Kassie,"bundle of trouble" Rhiannon, Melbourne dancer Courtney who always seems to be in tears, Rhys the fairy boy, Hairspray kid Jack and Vanessa, who, if she ever gets the chance, could play the title role in "Dr. Cindy Pan, The Musical" rather well.

Also included in the group were a stack of contestants I swear have never been featured on the show at all...Marko, Kate, Graeme and Laura all appear to be a great disadvantage seeing as they've had almost no screen time. Oh well...sucks to be them, I guess.

So now the program really starts...now we get to see what the dancers are really like, whether the hip hoppers can convert to ballroom, the ballroomers to contemporary, and the contemporary guy to breakdancing. Ah, the joy of trashy television..

;) peace

Lazy Me

Unfortunately my tenth post brings nothing but an apology. I missed So You Think You Can Dance? again last night, and hence I have no review for you, AGAIN. Never you mind, there is no way I'm missing Sunday's show. Even if I'm out I'll make sure that it's taped...or at least try to. I guess I'm just going to have to rely on readers to fill me in on the shenanigans from the previous two episodes.

I suppose I do have a legitimate excuse for missing the show though - I went to the soccer at the Telstra Dome, where Australia gave Qatar, the minute Arabian tax haven, a walloping. We had terrific seats, there was a great atmosphere and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. It was the first time I'd been to a soccer match - the first of many, I hope. Perhaps, when I'm out of university and rich (lol...fat chance), I'll travel to see the Socceroos in the World Cup - 2014, maybe? 2018 might be better...anyhow, enough speculation, that's my excuse. So yeah.

Other than that, my s key isn't working very well at all - I keep leaving the s off verbs and the like - I have to press it down about three times for it to work - I have my little school leavers function tonight followed by a jovial get-together with friends. I'm cleaning out the study and praying for some work, and wihing (there's an example of the lost s) ... wishing that some nice cash would come my way.

;) peace out

So You Think You Can Dance? No, I can't, but I can criticise to my heart's content....

So here I am again…and I’m blogging TV now! I’ve decided to give writing about So You Think You Can Dance a go – I won’t get far, because I’m not sure how much Sunday night TV I’ll be watching at university. Nevertheless, here’s a first instalment. Whether it’s funny is debatable – anyway, read and comment (it’s awfully long) if you will.


Well, it’s finally here – after three seasons of the American version, the Aussies have cottoned on to the latest reality franchise – Idol for dance. The first episode of Australia’s So You Think You Can Dance predictably begins with a montage of frenetic, epilepsy-inducing snippets of dancers, mood music and jarring excerpts from grammatically challenged judges.

“ONE WILL WIN….YOU DECIDE”, the screen flashes aggressively, as if we’re about to actually decide something important here.

And then our host appears. In case you haven’t been flicking through the pages of your local TV Guide recently, the job was given to Rogue Traders lead singer Natalie Bassingthwaighte. No, wait, Bassinghthwaithe. Or is it Basghsighthwaighthte? Who knows, but there are far too many letters. I prefer Cat Deeley the minute Bassinghthwhaihththththe opens her mouth, complete with her nauseating nose inflexions and grating Australian twang.

We’re given little more time to analyse our hostess as we are instantly transported to Perth, the setting for the first round of auditions. But wait! Here she is again!

“This is an ABSOLUTE MASSIVE TURNOUT in Perth…HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS have turned out here today!!” screams Bashingtwit as she scurries up and down the line of maybe one thousand people and assuring her audience she knows nothing about adverbs. Hundreds of thousands? It’s as if she’s insinuating the entire population of Perth were there.

But enough criticism of our host. It’s time to turn to the judges – the first of which is the obligatory import. Bonnie Lythgoe is the wife of Nigel Lythgoe, the “nasty” judge on the American version of the show. What is she looking for in a dancer? “Different, amazing, TALENTED! That’s what we want!” she exclaims, using nouns as adjectives and sending my grammar radar into a frenzy.

The second judge is Australian Jason Coleman, a stage dancer for twenty years and choreographer for the Sydney Olympics ceremony. Bearing more than a passing resemblance to the Paddle Pop Lion, Jason tells us he’s looking for “body shape” as well as “star quality” in a dancer. His penchant for gangster-pimp style fashion means he earns the title of creepiest judge.

Then there’s Matt Lee, the young, fresh-faced kid who looks as if he’s just come out of primary school, complete with wonky teeth and slightly askew cap. “Versatility” is what Matt’s looking for, someone who can cross over through the multitude of styles required for the competition. The only problem with him is that he looks young enough to be competing in the show himself – aren’t the judges meant to be a bunch of old farts?

The first lot of lambs to the slaughter are gathered into a theatre, and told by Bonnie to “do the best you possibly can”. Unfortunately, the first few dancers are fairly uninspiring – everybody’s “not bad”, but “not great”. It takes Brendan and Gemma, a couple with a sixteen year age difference, to get the day going. The sultry duo, who got their routine together in a week, perform a couple of voluptuous moves that are enough to put the judges in raptures. Kid-judge Matt obviously got excited – he claims he nearly fell off his chair. The couple are the first through to Sydney.

Someone with a more vibrant personality is “Lamb chop”, formerly known as “Pork chop”. No, she’s not fat; in fact, the name really doesn’t make any sense. No matter, her hideous blonde highlights wow the judges, and despite the fact that I was pretty unimpressed with her hip hop/contemporary blend, Bonnie loves her. Add to that a little speech about “dance equals breath, dance equals life”, and she’s in.

Next it’s anorexic giraffe “Angel”, an eighteen year old model who steps out in lurid tights and impossibly high heels. She wants to prove that “models can dance” but fails badly, hopping about and looking generally awkward. “I dance to show my emotions”, she says breathlessly to judge Matt, which must mean her emotional range is rather limited. Her back up plans? “I’ll keep starting my degree”, she says, and not even I’m sure what that means. Australia’s Next Top Model beckons.

Then it’s twenty-one year old Stephanie, who wants to work for the Moulin Rouge. As the music starts I’m reminded strongly of Tarisai Vushe – it’s “Kissing You”, that slow, stageboat love number. Nevertheless, Stephanie is pretty and her interpretative dance is more than enough for me and the judges to send her through.

Traditional indigenous dancer Sermsah, covered in tribal paints, is a breath of fresh air; something completely and utterly different to anything one would see on the American version of the show. After telling Basghinghthwhite about the tragic death of his mother, she merely offers a nod and a sheepish “yeah”, before rubbing him lamely on the shoulder. Thanks for your support, Nat.

His dancing is naturally terrific, although the judges aren’t really sure how well he’ll cross over into more conventional styles. No matter, he’s straight through, and Natalie makes up for her lack of emotional support earlier by getting her jacket dirty and giving him a big hug. Smiles all round for Sermsah.

Kelly is next up, dressed for the beach in a bikini. She uses a “man-prop” to dreadful effect, and the judges are particularly unimpressed by her choice of song. Personally, I thought she was better than Lambchop, but what would I know. She’s sent through to the choreography round by the skin of her teeth.

It’s time for a bit of hip hop now, and b-boy Edit pulls out all the usual tricks, but it’s not clear whether he can cross over into other styles. He too is sent to choreography.

The choreography round begins and youngster Matt pulls through a stomping number. The dancers are put into groups of four to dance the routine in front of the three judges. Kelly is sent home, along with a whole lot of others…although Edit gets his ticket to the east coast.

So Perth is over, and with fifteen through to the next stage, the circus moves to Brisbane. Jason’s wearing a gangster-pimp shirt with the buttons undone and the collar up, leaving the bogan girls salivating but the rest of us vomiting. The overwhelming number of female auditionees is accentuated in Brisbane, where two-thirds of those trying out were girls. Camilla bucks the trend, a contemporary/jazz type with feisty red hair, taught by her mum. She appears to have the elusive “X-factor”, and the judges love her despite her lack of fitness, so she sails straight through to Sydney.

Hip hop group “365 Crew” are probably the most impressive dancers so far – their brand of stomping break had my foot tapping. However, only one of them is deemed good enough to go straight through – the other two are sent through to the infamous choreography round.

After the umpteenth ad break we’re introduced to Anthony, brother of a rugby league player. He’s shirtless, muscular and acrobatic, and Bonnie says he made her feel a lot better. He gets a ticket direct to Sydney.

Next up are jokers Ben and Liam, who give us a bit of a boogie presentation in brightly coloured tight costumes. I was ready to pass them off as tools before the green guy in the top hat pulled out some decent breakdancing moves. He makes choreography, but the guy in the too-short pink singlet is sent home.

Emma, an Australian Ballet School alumnus, tells the judges that dancing isn’t the most important thing in her life, always a big no-no. After a few tears, she’s told her emotional personality is too fragile for the competition. No matter; her dancing didn’t seem that good anyway.

Then it’s Jack, who’s likeable enough – he looks like the kind of person you’d meet at a party and get along with. It turns out that he can bebop OK, and while his Broadway ambitions might be a bit of a way off yet, he’s through to Sydney.

Raunchy Brazilian Gianne brings some sultry samba backed up with that Latin favourite, “Mas Que Nada”. I like her A LOT. She’s given a chance to prove her worth again in choreography.

A couple of couples are shown next; whether they get through is not shown. In fact, at this point I’m wondering how well the show has been put together – we’ve not been shown anyone absolutely truly excellent; and nobody has been laughably terrible either. The judges particularly have disappointed me a bit; I was hoping for another Mary Murphy, whose oversized teeth and irritating laugh really made for some decent entertainment.

Then along came Marlena, who was just the ticket for some good old laughs. What strikes me as fascinating about these audition episodes of reality programs is just how many deranged people there are in the world that genuinely believe they possess talent, when in fact they have none whatsoever. Marlena says she hasn’t found a dance partner for the audition (which doesn’t surprise me), and struts her way solo through Jamiroquai’s “Cosmic Girl” in a far too-tight dress. Rejected in a splendidly harsh way by Bonnie and Matt, Marlena justifies her dress by telling Australia with a completely straight face that if Britney Spears can get around without underwear, then so can she. Let’s just leave it there, shall we? At least she was good for a laugh.

It’s choreography round again, and while Liam the joker is sent home, Gianne and the other two members of the 365 Crew get their tickets to Sydney.

Just when I thought it was all over, it turns out there’s a whole day more of auditions in Brisbane. Good god, I’ve already been typing for four pages! Anyway, young Carl is up first, resplendent in a flannelette shirt and tight shorts. He tries to emulate Nureyev in his routine; a dancing version of a musical cover, so to speak. While he’s not quite up to the mark the judges recognise the talent there, so off he goes to choreography.

Bessi is next, a twenty-nine year old woman who escaped civil war in El Salvador. Her energised hip hop is engaging, but it’s evident she’s had no formal training. She’s never been to school either, and has lived for periods on the streets. After she tells them her tale both Bessi and the judges are in tears and Paddle Pop Lion gives her a big hug. Her story is great, but it’s the way she portrays it in dance which is heart-warming. She’s sent through, deservedly, to choreography.

Next up is Caleb, a thin, emo-haired kid who give us a blend of ballet and contemporary dance that is actually mind-blowingly good. By a long way, this guy is the best auditionee so far. Then he tells everyone he’s only fifteen, meaning he can’t actually enter. WHATTT?? Dang, the guy would WIN if he was in it. But Caleb assures us he’ll be back, and urges us to remember his face. I’m not so sure – he’ll be dancing with a professional company before he’s eighteen, I’d guarantee it.

Surely we’re nearly there now…I’ve been typing forever! But no, there’s more – it’s unique Gabriel who’s up now, a sweaty, moustached type who describes himself as a monkey. His dancing didn’t make much of an impression on me or the judges, and he’s given a second chance, just, by going through to choreography.

Finally, it IS time for choreography, and again it’s Matt who leads the also-rans through a routine. After performing for the judges, ballet boy Carl gets a ticket, as well as everyone’s favourite survivor, Bessi. Monkey-boy Gabriel is not so lucky, who storms off unhappily back to university, but lives to fight another day.


And so that’s it – two audition cities down, and a few more left, by the looks of things. It’s actually worried me that the most talented dancer to audition so far has been an ineligible fifteen year old kid, but there were enough interesting personalities and dancers in there to keep me watching and blogging again.

However, you’ll have to wait for next week before you can read my notes on the show once more – I missed Monday night’s program, so I’ve no idea of whether the Top 20 was revealed. I guess I’ll be looking for footage on the website – reality television is so trashy, but so damned addictive….

That’s all folks! Peace, love, ecstacy, unity respect…

;) me

Saturday

Here I am again...and I'm sorry to report that I already violated (rather excessively) one of the earnest resolutions I discussed in my previous post. Yes, I stayed up too late again last night online, mucking about and doing nothing in particular. It really is a dreadful vice. Anyway, life goes on and perhaps, eventually, it will all end.

Things are generally looking up though. It doesn't look like I'll be totally bored this week; there's the possibility of a small gathering on Monday night, and I'm booked into watching the Australia vs Qatar soccer game on Wednesday, which should be a hoot. On Thursday night there's the school leavers function...a get together for our year level. It'll be weird to see everybody again after what has been three, probably three and a half months apart.

Other than that, I might even get to start rowing again! Yay. Well, actually, rowing is one of those impossible paradoxes in life. It's incredibly hard work physically - honestly, I'd rather do a 15km run than a 2km rowing race - it kills your hands (they end up badly blistered and calloused), you have absolutely no social life (because you're too tired to go out and besides, drinking is bad for rowers) and everybody pays you out. But hey, it's just so fecking awesome! Besides, being in the first rowing crew meant I was friends with all the jocks and had a vague sense of status in the school for the first term last year.

Rowing at university'll be a bit different - it's more serious and the competition's harder. But I'm always up for a challenge. I've been invited to go down on the Thursday but it clashes with the leavers function...perhaps I'll go the following week.

Anyway, other than that, there's little more to say. Have a good weekend, and peace all around.

;) me

Musings...february

It's February, and it's honestly rather astonishing to think that we're already a twelfth of the way through 2008. It feels like, for me, it's only just started, but in actual fact I've spent thirty-one days of 2008 wallowing in a stupor...I've never really been so lazy in all my life.

With no rowing training program or homework to keep me occupied, I've taken to long spells on the computer, hardly healthy for my soul. It would've been fine if I'd been writing glorious blog posts, but instead I appeared to find my solace in useless youtube videos and music forums. All in all, I'm wasting my precious life doing nothing at all, really, and I'm feeling rather guilty about it at present.

So here are my resolutions: a month too late, but better late than never. I've woken up to the fact that without pragmatism, I'm going to be a directionless bum before you know it.

1)...is to get a decent job. I've virtually been quietly shown the door at my old work - they haven't given me a shift for weeks. I keep ringing in, and there are no shifts for me. I don't feel too bad because I have friends that work there too who are struggling for shifts, but it annoys me that they don't have the guts to say "Sorry mate, we just haven't got room for you here."

2)...is to work my arse off at university. I'm into my course, I'm living in on campus at a frightfully expensive college, there are friends around me and the sky's the limit. There are millions of people who would kill to be where I am right now, so I'm not going to screw it up. There is a place in the university's graduate law course, and it has MY name on it.

3)...is to write something. Writing is basically all I'm good at...that and reading out what I've written. Sure, I can muster a vague sense of a tune on a piano, and I'm not bad value at parties, but who knows. If I set my mind to a novel, a play, a script or even (god forbid) poetry, I might get somewhere with it.

4)...is to limit my computer time. From now on, I'm going to try and limit myself to an hour a day. This will be mostly spent checking in on my beloved forums, downloading a song or two and searching quickly on Wikipedia or youtube. I'll have to take a bit more time, of course, to write these marvellous blog posts. I think I need to get outside more...it might be good for my zits.

5)...is to be far more regular with blog posting. That basically contradicts my fourth resolution, but I actually enjoy the introspection I get on here. It's pretty much my own private diary, because...well, let's face it, there isn't anybody reading. And heck, if someone does come along, at least they can appreciate my ability to string together a few sentences with diligence and discipline.

Other than that, I might just have discovered how to post a picture....hold on...

Did that work? OK, well if it did, that's Imogen Heap's album "Speak For Yourself". I have just discovered this incredible artist...well, I discovered her a while ago, but it was one of those things where you were aware of her, but hadn't fully realised her awesomeness. Now I've realised it, it really is incredible. (That was all rather incoherent). Basically, she's awesome. "The Moment I Said It" is pure, awe-inspiring music.

Other than that, I'm praying for money, some fun in the sun and a comment or two wouldn't go astray.

;) peace to all

me